School. The last place I ever want to go to. My 11th grade classes started today. Upon reaching my class I found this girl sitting in the back she looked almost like a model, the one’s you see on the front cover of “Page 3” magazines. Long black hair, skin colour as white as snow and quite good looking. She was reading a graphic novel which is quite cool because nobody usually does that here. I thought of approaching her but before I could do anything she looked at me and said hello before I could ask her name the bell rang and the classes started. When the roll call started I patiently listened so that I could know her name. Her name was Kavya. Well more about this later I should go to sleep now.
My parents have very high expectations from me i.e. to be at the top of the class like always. To be a child of two rich parents is always a tough job as they always want to showcase me in front of their friends. But, I won’t complain as studying in my room is much better than listening to my parents gossip with each other about their friends and relatives. So, today I gathered up some courage to go and talk to Kavya but she was talking with Rajeev Mehta. If you don’t know who Rajeev Mehta is then you’re in for a treat, Rajeev is the son of business tycoon Angad Mehta owner of “The Wine Room” they manufacture wine of the finest quality for the elite class. She seemed quite engrossed with him. So, I just backed out.
I can’t think straight. I’m always thinking about Kavya, her hair, her eyes and all that stupid shit. But, today I went to talk to her as I saw that she was alone. Kavya usually doesn’t go anywhere else during the recess. She’s always some book, anyways so I went to talk to her and I introduced myself. She told me about her family and why she had moved here. Apparently her father got transferred in this city and because of his job he needs to move quite often due to which she can’t stay in any city for more than two or three years. I asked her whether she liked our school or not, which books she likes and even got her phone number. I still am hesitating to message her.
Should I ?
So, I just asked Kavya if she wants to go watch a movie with me and she said yes. I’m so excited but I’m confused about something. Should I tell her my secret ?
What an amazing day it has been ! I’m too tired to write anything right now but keeping it short and simple I will say that I had the best time with her. She’s so cool, funny and smart. The perfect girl I always wanted to meet. I didn’t tell her about my secret though. I wonder if she’ll like a person like me.
Talking to Kavya is so much fun. We were chatting regularly since the last two days. We talk about movies and books and stuff. I think she likes me too.
I messaged her so many times but she didn’t even reply. She came online but still she didn’t. Maybe she was busy, I don’t know. It feels as if she’s avoiding me, even in school today she wasn’t in the class during the recess. I wonder where she goes ? I really like her a lot. Maybe I should’ve told her about that thing. But, if I did tell her then everybody in school would know. I kept it a secret from my parents since 8th grade. I’m kinda scared.
I can’t believe I saw that. I can’t write anymore, I just can’t.
I can’t live like this anymore, this constant feeling of sadness. I was never able to tell this to my parents nor I could tell anyone else because I never made friends as I thought if anybody would come to know about my..I don’t know what I should call this let’s just call it “feelings”. Dear diary you be wondering what I saw, well on Monday during recess in the school I followed Kavya as I wanted to know where she was going during recess. I made sure she couldn’t see me, so I followed her quietly and then when we reached the 5th floor which was the last floor and I saw her going into the empty room there which was used by the drama group to practice. I sneaked behind and through the window I saw her kissing Rajeev. I quickly ran away and I tried not to cry.
Now here I am.
I thought maybe I could be with her or something. I really thought she liked me, I thought she was the one.
Maybe I was the one who started having expectations.
How can she fall in love with me ?
After all, even I’m a girl.